glass beads and old lace

Apologies about the absence. Been thinking about string and how it ties together, leads back to the start. I'm headed towards a new start as the year closes in on its final lap, wondering what needs to be left behind and if snow really does make a sound when it falls. Just when I'm supposed to be letting go, history holds on all the tighter- crumbling family albums and Grandfather so handsome in his uniform and navy cap, no wonder Grandmother waited. Bicycles and army tanks in Rome, and the gifts he brought back sit sentinel on the chest of drawers

beauty to cry for

Ever since I was a little little girl I've been fascinated with ballerinas. The grace and suspension- turns that end only when they decide to and jumps they only come down from because they get bored; the delicate wrists and ankles that seem to weep as they arch into beautiful lines.
I made up my mind to become one, but after hours and hours of rehearsal today, I am so battered with bruises and blisters from the hard floor and angry pointe shoes that I can barely make it up the stairs. My feet are bleeding in a million places but it will all be worth it I tell myself.

Julie Kent; simply seeing her wonderful feet prompts deep sighs of longing. I wore my blue dress and the lovely heels that pinch but look so graceful with Grandmother into the city yesterday to see her. She was so sad and beautiful that I wept in my seat for the sight of her.

wednesday was bittersweet

It seemed to me more bitter than sweet, the only thing that keeps me going through the winter is finally ended. It was my last, and now I'll never have that back. There were tears of course. And there was laughter, sweet as rain that melts away the snow. Smiles like sideways slashes, dragged down at one side from the sad and gone, but unable to be kept at bay and so the other side stretched up regardless. Hugs picked me up and squeezed me tight, even after they let go. Sure it was hard to speak, but a father-kiss on the forehead made me slash-smile again.

It was nice to be the oldest, the privileges, the responsibilities. That was the sweet. But the bitter was always in the corner trying to catch your eye and tell you its time to go.

-A Thought Like Light-
I can always come back.
Not to stay, but to visit.

I'll miss my winter family, but it will grow without me. I suppose it was mine for a while. They took me in out of the cold and chose to teach me instead. But four years went round and now it's time. They'll make a perfect family for the next winter misfit. Look, I've already patted down a soft place for you to fit. Here, take my spot.

quickly

I am going away to the North with my family for the weekend.

Be back soon with cold beauty
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snow day!

Because we live on the ocean, my little town barely gets snow some winters. Sure the rest of the state does, but it always seems to miss us by inches. We get one big storm each February, and this would have to be it!

And So I plan to spend the day reading Gatsby, drinking coffee, catching up on homework and being cozy.My younger brother and sisters have other plans for me, however... According to them we spend the entire day outside sledding and building igloos (that's how much snow we have now!) and then come inside and build a fire with hot chocolate.

We'll see where the day wanders :)

(photos from here and here)

the long road back

I haven't posted in a while and I'm sorry about that.

My good friend's father died very suddenly and tragically last Thursday and we were all left in shock for a bit. He was a very good man. So getting back to where we were before has been a journey.

You never know when you'll be picked up by fate and deposited somewhere else. It takes so long to get back to what you thought you knew. Sometimes you never really make it back, but you settle somewhere else and that becomes comfortable until you are picked up again.

It makes you think- if you were taken by surprise, where would you wake up the next morning?

If anything could happen? If you could be anywhere?

(Movie from here)

Where would you wake up?

safe home

hello hello and hello a late merry christmas to all!

I'm up in Maine with family for the holidays and it's been eating eating eating since the moment we got here. I'm not going to fit in the car to go home!

The days here are muffled by snow and you come to think of the house in a whole new way. It's your protector from the whirling wind that calls you to come dance. The house keeps you safe and silent and out of danger- a little shelter you built yourself (though I know I didn't really)

And when you survive the storm, resist the call, you go out and survey the result and build lookout perches from the rubble

Stumble inside tired but happy into that house full of food and animals and fire warmth and family and white cats curled up in the chair by the stove. And pie.

Cat's sneezing in my lap now...
There'll be more pictures to follow- Happy Holidays
photos

homecoming weekend

What the imagination seizes as beauty must be truth, whether it existed before or not.

~John Keats

I was seized with the imagination of the day and ran eagerly out of my house, dragging one of my sisters by the arm. She wasn't thrilled at first, but we were both soon caught up by the beauty of early autumn and homecoming weekend in my town. Hopefully we win!!! Football is kind of a big thing here- and when I say big, I mean the greatest thing since sliced bread to a lot of people...

But we were able to find some peace and solitude in the ancient overgrown graveyard hidden away in the woods by my house. That's my little sister with the camera around her neck. Isn't she pretty?

wishing on raining stars

Being sick is so much easier on a gary-ish day. This one was perfect in fact- I'm curled up in my bed feeling miserable (so many of my friends have mono, I hope it's not that!) Looking out the window at the very beginning of October (even remembered to say rabbit when I woke up yesterday!) The leaves should start changing soon, and falling. Fall is my very favorite season. Sometimes the sunlight seems almost tangible and the clouds are thick and puffy, turning deep purples and pinks at twilight. Plus you can pull out all those warm comfy clothes and just sit, with a cup of tea, and forget about everything you need to do for a bit.

A few days ago, before I was cursed with this stuffy nose,scratchy throat and achy body, I was walking my dog in the park by my house with my baby sister (she's not really a baby anymore, but I still like to call her that) a gust of wind came through and coaxed the leaves to jump from their branches and twirl through the air to land at our feet. My sister danced down the path trying to cath them. "Look!" she cried "It's raining leaves!"

She was so beautiful spinning and jumping around, i could only stand and watch her. She finally caught one before it hit the ground and brought it over for me to see. She told me that if you catch a leaf before it falls, you get to make a wish. So i wished- well, if I told you then it wouldn't come true!

Happy Autumn and may all your wishes come true!

pictures